This past weekend I listened to a conference through Chuck Pierce ministries about moving from the past into Wholeness. I never knew at the time what God was going to do for me before, during and after the conference. I honestly thought my life was great and getting better until I got this invitation on my Linkedin account from a guy I dated 20 – 25 years ago (sorry I need to go back and count the years because I had moved on). Ok, just counted it was actually 21 years ago. I was so shocked when I saw the invitation and got fearful thinking “what does he want- you know tha t”eweeeee” do I want to even go there feeling? You find yourself thinking back on all the reasons WHY the relationship DIDN’T work out and NOW how very grateful I AM in how God watched over me to keep me protected from my stupid self back then. (lol) I looked at this person’s photo and started praying that God would show me why he had contacted me and all of a sudden I got flooded with all this pain, and deep hurt, rejection and this sense of desperation for needing to be loved. They wern’t my feelings as I had already forgiven this person for the deep pain they had caused me in their hurt. But my heart hurt for them for not being able to move on. The heart knows- it will keep records of pain, deep hurt and the offenses that others cause us, but what this person didn’t know (which is what pained me for him) was WHO had healed my heart. I had attained deep inner healing a longggggg time ago and have been enjoying my “present” for about 15 years now. And with the utmost of sincerity do I say this: but I’ve never been so grateful to a holy God that He loved me SO much that I hadn’t spent the last 21 years in regret. The first 5 of those years I was madder than hell at this person, and deeply hurt, and wanted God to strike him down for all the abuse and pain he had put into my heart. I had tried to love him to the best of my abilities (even back when I was younger) but you cannot love someone shut off to love. I remember my last words to him. I said this:
“So and so- YOU WILL NEVER FORGET MY NAME.” And at that moment I knew I was prophesying God’s spoken word into his heart because Christ wanted him to remember the Agape Love I had tried to show him. Ever heard of the analogy that people can’t give what they dont have? The same is true for receiving love- the spirit bears witness with the spirit – meaning- if someone that your in relationship with knows the Lord- then His spirit of Love in them will connect with the spirit of God’s love in you. But if they don’t know Christ- there is nothing for your love to connect with. Its an empty gesture. You can try to buy their love, perform for their love- and it will always come back to just 1 truth- PEOPLE CANNOT GIVE WHAT THEY DON’T HAVE. But MAYBE- JUST MAYBE- you’ve been planted into their life to seed plant. We will reap what we’ve sown- for good/bad- and we all live by a season of seed + time = harvest. So your vessel was being used by God in that season as a sacrifice of love to show God’s love to someone He might later save.
So you see- NOTHING – no relationship no action of our own if EVER wasted. LIKE EVER! Not if you know the King of Kings and Lord of the Universe.
Are you finding yourself crossing over or wanting to cross over today into your present? Or are you still stuck in the past milling over all your hearts hurts and needing a holy God to help you cross over? Then pray this prayer with me because God’s got cha! He’s gonna help you today.
Lord- I do have some hurts from past relationships that I need you to bring to closure. I need you to show my heart what was my fault and what wasn’t. Father, I want to be free- free to be me- and free to love and be the whole healthy person You always meant for me to be. So according to Romans 10:10 I say- BE IT UNTO ME ALL THAT YOUR WORD HAS SAID! WHOLENESS AND HEALING AND JOY UNSPEAKABLE IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME!
Love you guys,
copyright © 2012 Missy Hood