What To Do With Circumstances Beyond Your Control

ADHD people (or even mainstream society) struggles to deal with circumstances beyond our control.  For the ADHD person- these “distractions” can really throw us off in our focus and in our ability to stay on track.  Distractions such as noises, sights, sounds and smells can become such a problem to us because of our sensitivity to these various stimuli.  I used to get distracted from people tapping their pencils on their desks, to the birds chirping outside to flying saucers flying overhead.  Even the smell of bread baking in the oven would send my brain onto a bunny trail to the point to where finishing a task would be next to impossible. 

ADHD people are really succeptable to stimuli like this.  Our brains are attempting to focus on a task when a distraction pops up and with our brains misfiring (inconsistently) all the time, if you happen to catch us during a “mis-fire” – well we’re off on another mission altogether.

The ADHD brain really is like that and the younger the student/adult the less cognitive abilties/maturity/disapline their brain will have to know how to get the person back on track quickly.  So interruptions are really what we are trying to master while we are going through the developmental phase of our lives (This phase lasting usually from 8yrs – 27yrs old). 

So what do we do when we can’t control those interruptions that try to defeat our ability to focus?  You learn “Coping Skills.”  Coping skills are tools that anyone (ADHD or not) will develop as they move through development and into maturity so that their brains can develop higher crtical thinking skills.  The higher your ability to critically think through an issue, problem or situation usually will mean the higher your abilites are.  This will also usually mean the more you can handle/juggle in your every day routine.  If your finding yourself overwhelmed by the mundane things that happen day in/day out in your life- this usually means you have a low level of maturity and critical thinking abilitlies.  OR if you think your handling your life pretty well, but still are struggle to move up in your career and feel that your life is chaotic- this usually means that your just in survival mode and have learned how to manipulate/control your situations/relationships. 

AND surviving is NOT the way the live/exist.  This survivalist instinct is what a human being does when he/she feels threatened with the ability to even exist and it usually occurs when the person is experiencing an ability to cope with life.  Their lives and their ability to move through life with peace and tranquility.  Obstacles will come but when a person has high critical thinking skills they are able to navigate through life/relationships easier without feeling like they have to fight for the right to even exist. 

The bible says that Jesus came to bring us life and to bring it in abundance!  And this abundance didn’t mean that we would have to fight our way into our destinies.  When Jesus lives in your heart/life HE does the fighting for you and HE deals with the devil on your life when the hard things come.  And for the ADHD person- we’re usually thrown off track with the hard things and so we need Jesus tremendously to help us navigate our way into our futures so that we can even have a future.   I remember my early days when I was struggling to even keep a job (I lost 40 jobs in 15 years) and I was really having to rely on Christ to help me always have work so that I could even survive because of the way that I learned.  What Christ taught me through the uncontrollable circumstances/people was that if I would just love them (which was very hard because alot of them were abusive to me emotionally because of what they didn’t understand about my learning).  Christ taught me in these moments that if I showed love, even when people didn’t deserve it, it would really bring conviction and allow that persoin to see Him inside me to where when they got alone to think they might have an ephipany/revelation about their way of life and see His love.

There were those times when the abuse got so bad that I would literally sense Jesus stand up and push me behind Him and THEN He would fight that battle.  There would be such swift judgement on that person coming at me because Christ wanted them to to see that He wasn’t going to tolerate their abuse/bad behavior patterns towards me as His child. It was in these moments that I learned WHO was God and who was NOT.  I also learned to trust Him to protect me as an ADHD person OR just someone who was born differently but not someone less deserving of respect/love.

Have you struggled with this when your circumstances seem out of control?  Are you struggling to make sense of the chaos in your life?  Or with abusive people?  If so- then please pray this prayer with me:

Jesus- I am tired of feeling like I have to fight for my right to even exist in this life and I’m tired of abusive people.  Lord – please show me my worth and that You really are in control- make Yourself known to my heart so that I don’t have to feel like I’m doing this all by myself.  Lord- You KNOW how you made my brain AND how you made me.  SO since you don’t make mistakes – Lord can you set the record straight and set my life in order so that I can enjoy my life and not have to feel like I have to fight so hard?

Thank you Lord!  I Love you



copyright © 2012 Missy Hood