From 8yrs old to 22 yrs old I REALLY struggled with the ADHD condition. However, I was almost out of control at 22 because I didn’t know I had a condition nor did I know how to manage it. Everything was chaotic everything from my relationships to my work life, and I didn’t know that coping skills would have probably eliminated all of that. Looking back I wished I would have known then what I know now.
The turning point came on Saturday October 31, 1987 when my father would go down in a field after having a massive aneurysm/heart attack while cutting wood at a family outing. This event would impact my life to the point that I would literally almost “check out” of life. I didn’t understand what was going on around me and my father had been the only person who could relate with me in my ADHD world. He understood me/or knew how to read me and it was just a tremendous blessing to have him in my life because to be “known” by someone by the spirit is to be understood and accepted/loved. There are few people in our lives that will truly understand us/get us and my dad did just that.
My dads’ death would propel me into a place, a very dark place of emotion that I had never dealt with, nor could I have known it’s impact on my abilities to cope. I decided I would just numb myself through partying because being numb was much better than being in pain all the time and I slowly started to see my life move towards chaos.
It would be at the end of my 23rd year that I would experience a very supernatural encounter with a holy God who would make His presence VERY known to me. I was lying in my bed one night, struggling with major depression, and pondering over all the pain. All the losses, questioning who I was, who God was, and VERY VERY angry at the world for those losses but especially very angry at the Lord. If I could have punched Him I would have, because in my mind, He would have deserved it. BUT I also knew in my heart that God is never changing and that HE IS GOOD whether I agree or not, and since He is good and loving I was the one who was going to have to readjust my thinking. Ever felt like that? Its ok if you have, He’s a big God and Hes a big boy and He can handle anything we toss at Him because of His deep love for us.
As I lay there in my bed I started to see (for what looked like) an arch of white light. I then heard this voice say “Come on in your on safe ground.” My body was no longer in my bedroom anymore because I saw my body move through this light into what looked like a courtyard. The courtyard had a magnificently made cobble stone wall and its mortar was beautifully colored/beautifully made with diamonds that dazzled within. I then looked beyond the wall to see a grassy knoll with an oaktree. My senses were on overload as I was taking it all in with all it’s splendor and then my sights were drawn over to my left. To my left was a little black man hoeing in his garden. His vegetables were perfectly rounded, perfectly colored, and their coloring was dazzling. The colors were not like anything of this earth/world. They were just awesome! My senses then propelled me to look over to my right and standing there in a white robe was my dad. Without thinking my body took off at a sprint to get over to him as quickly as I could and I bearhugged him and never wanted to let go. I could feel his warmth, and all the love that I felt for him, from him and through Him as a child and I never wanted this moment to end. My father slowly pulled away from the embrace and I guess that confused me because I asked him “dad am I supposed to stay here with you?” He said “No Missy, you haven’t accomplished what you set out to accomplish yet.” He then handed me a card and on the card it said to “Momma and Shawn (mom and brother)” and as I opened it it read “I’m Ok.” I have often thought about this moment over the years and wondered what he meant by those words to me. Its taken Christ almost every year since that experience to unfold the mystery of those words with regard to my destiny. BUT they are coming to pass!
Back to the heavenly encounter: I then looked over at the black man and he was looking up at me and smiling lovingly. I could feel/sense ALL of heaven’s love in this moment. The next thing I knew it all ended, I was back in my bed. I wasn’t depressed anymore, matter of fact, I had more energy than I had experienced in over a year since this grief process began. For some dumb reason too the reality hit me that ALL hard places don’t come to stay, that God is moving us through them. Through the pain making beauty for ashes. I got up that morning after this experience (because it wasn’t a dream that I experienced – it was real) because I had never had an experience before nor after that time like that. It was a heavenly encounter. But that particular morning would change my life forever. Just like my dad’s death had.
I would find out that Jesus had taken me on this heavenly encounter so that He could start a healing process within my mind and my heart at the same time. We all experience miracles every single day of our lives. We’re just not attentive to the simplicity of how Jesus /God moves and so I believe we miss a lot of those moments because we’re too busy just living life.
Today- I would like each of you to think of a need that you have. Then state that need to Jesus (its just that simple). You then give that need over to Him to see the miracle working power in that area of your life. God’s word says: If My people who are called by MY name will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways (and maybe your ways aren’t wicked- maybe you just need a course correction or a tweeking in your minds/hearts) but GOD specifically says HE WILL HEAL YOUR LANDS. Its just that simple to humble yourself with what faith you have and if you did Say this prayer after me:
Father- I tried doing this my way- and its been hard. I don’t see alot of your miracles that you talk about and maybe thats because I’m not as attentive as I should be. Please forgive me. Forgive me Lord for ALL my shortcomings and any way that I’ve hurt you or others. Lord, can you please make yourself known to my heart today so that I would know what its like to bask in your love or what its like to see You on YOUR terms. Lord, can you make me more like You, to love like you Love, so that I can overcome these hard places in my life. Thank you Lord.
This experience alone would show me that although I lived in the world (I’m not here to stay because we’re just passing through this place- we’re sojourners in this land) but I could experience /bring heaven here on earth every day through Christ if I were paying attention. This heavenly experience would also prepare me for one of the hugest miracles that I had ever encountered (up to this point) with God because He was fixing to heal my mind. Jesus was fixing to show me that if HE lived in me- then His spirit could heal from within and without and that would permeate even MY Mind to make my mind more like His! (Phil 2:2-5- I have the mind of Christ like that which is in Christ Jesus).
I have attained so much healing in my heart/mind through Him (after 19 yrs) that I rarely need my meds (Adderall) anymore. I only take my meds (maybe once every 2 – 5 mos.) but my brain has excelled into the place it was always meant to function. My brain functions at it’s optimal abilities and I excel usually just as fast if not faster than other students/adults.
Come back next week and I’ll take you into the next phase of healing through Christ. God is no respecter of persons and if your struggling with anything – the healing anointing is on these writings as you read SO your receiving deep inner healing over areas of your mind/heart weekly. Keep coming back is all I say and keep moving forward into your dreams and allow the Lord/Jesus to keep revealing more of Himself to you!
Love you !
copyright © 2012 Missy Hood